Alpha Sub is not a band for the “punk rock” fan who wants to explore their feelings through music. Alpha Sub is also not the band for that person who was part of the “scene” in the suburbs when they were a kid, who now sits around in their flannel shirt and trucker hat, wondering where everything went wrong. Alpha Sub is not the band for the punk guy who debates what IPA they will drink after their kids go to bed. No, Alpha Sub is a band that wants you to drink cheap beer that you may or may not have stolen, piss in the sink at a dive bar, and cause trouble at a show. If that sounds like your idea of a good time, then pick up their self-titled release. Rather than take themselves seriously by writing deep, introspective lyrics about the nuance of life and relationships, they will jam songs like “Two-Handed Piss” and “Step Dad Goatee” in your ear holes. And those titles are not clever entendre; the songs are literally about a man taking a piss with two hands and a stepdad with bad facial hair, respectively. So, if you’re the type of person who has woken up at sunrise on the street outside of a bar that you were probably kicked out of, Alpha Sub’s self-titled release is the soundtrack for your night. So, shotgun a beer, break something, and crank this cassette.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"